Christianity QA

Question:

"Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> schreef in bericht news:amcvc5$88t$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… > Very long babble to a very short note…. > But who knows. Maybe someone is bored enough today or tired enough fo the > same cycle to decide to try somethign else….If not, oh well. I did not > write it for others but cause those thoughts crossed my mind just now > about "responsibility"…

You are neat. ejay

Response:

Fun reading and all Chloe, and I agree with you 100 percent, but what does that have to do with…………? Oh never mind, I had to reread it. You see, there I go again thinking people can read minds, or at least see the words I forget to type. It sure would be easier if humans could jump into eachothers heads to get to know someone. It’s difficult to know there is often much more that lies underneath someones words then what is typed. Typed words are so….are so…are so literal. Which is good sometimes and not so good at others. Although, I realize it is the responsibility of the writer and not the reader to be sure the reader is aware of what the writer would like to have understood or to be aware of, of him/herself. Oh man………it’s even later now then it was before, imagine that lol. Chloe, I’ll get back to you soon. Gota go sleep. CHeeRS

Response:

"DraMATTics" (matts…@cox.net) writes: > Fun reading and all Chloe, and I agree with you 100 percent, but what does > that have to do with…………? Oh never mind, I had to reread it. You > see, there I go again thinking people can read minds, or at least see the > words I forget to type. It sure would be easier if humans could jump into > eachothers heads to get to know someone. It’s difficult to know there is > often much more that lies underneath someones words then what is typed. > Typed words are so….are so…are so literal. Which is good sometimes and > not so good at others. Although, I realize it is the responsibility of the > writer and not the reader to be sure the reader is aware of what the writer > would like to have understood or to be aware of, of him/herself. Oh > man………it’s even later now then it was before, imagine that lol. > Chloe, I’ll get back to you soon. Gota go sleep. CHeeRS

Donlt take my words too literally. Sometimes at the occasion of a post, I might have on my mind somethign that whoever raised elsewhere, in RL, in email, or in some other threads, where I can just happen to see a connection with soemthign anther one is living, for instance. Other times,I have a feeel of what is siad about what, or know so from email from a given poster or another, i.e. know better what they are refering too, or just sense it, where yet another will have replied to their original post where I might know things there too related to that one, or might make an association with a third or fifth person or event and where that is at for x, y, z and w, or just for me:). My replies in threads are at times not replying dorectly to anyone, but more like a juggling with how what one wrote happens to fall on or off for the circumstances of a third of 20th party… And at times, being a darn "Empath", I just am invaded by a mix of it all, where I need to take a moment to do what I call "touch base" (*no* relation to the baseball bat LOLROTFLL:)), which means clean my own self of all outdside emotions and energy, get back in touch with my own…Where as this takes place but is not done yet, it is as if it was all of whoever’s emotiosn touched me in the last hours or days that just simmers into whatever words I write. And then again there are days of no concentration cause of the Graves, on top of the same days as everyone else. Take now: I woke up nearly 2 hours ago, and yet feel like I never woke up for real….Gravesland…. With me like with anyone else, take what fits you and elave the rest for whoever else it may fit or not then…. Sometimes, I just write to keep the brain active and not fall into coma, too, eh. And other times, like now and like that then reply, Irewrite it 7 times losing the text by disconnection:(, and as I go, it loses all spontaneity, and I write as if knowing it woudl not make it again, where of course that messiest rewrite of all, more mechanical and spontaneous each rewrite, ends up beign the oen that will not be lost and will be posted. In other words, donlt make too much of it. Take the good and just leave the rest behind:). Me just a person, and a sick one at it, eh… Chloe —

Response:

Newsgroups: alt.support.loneliness Subject: Re: I wish I could snap Reply-To: bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Eleonore Beaudoin) References: <tDXh9.71818$Pf7.2141763@news1.west.cox.net> <am9okq$3t8o8$1@ID-141797.news.dfncis.de> <IBci9.78932$Pf7.2375400@news1.west.cox.net> <amcc7b$dnj$1@freenet9.carleton.ca> <rSki9.80821$Pf7.2519401@news1.west.cox.net> Organization: The National Capital FreeNet – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -"DraMATTics" (matts…@cox.net) writes: > This is a multi-part message in MIME format. > ——=_NextPart_000_0017_01C25FAB.372AE6C0 > Content-Type: text/plain; >    charset="iso-8859-1" > Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable > Hi again Chloe, > Say, wasn’t I just talking to you not even 4 minutes ago. Dang Chloe, = > you sure can boogie on thru this NG. in a real hurry when you want. = > lol > On the serious side of things. Responsilbity to me always meant doing = > something for me, unless that is I was told to do it by my dad. Because = > I couldn’t stand him holding me up so all my friends could see me in my = > humilation. In that reterospect it what responsibiltiy means most to me = > is: Handling of or carries out a predetermind number of tasks and = > completing them within the given time frame/  And completely despiesing = > haveing to carry them out.

Yeah, parents can give "responsibility" a bad name…. But if kids were entirely left to their own, they’d apply the "whoever hits harder/flutters the eyelashes best gets what he/she wants" where parents then try and put the accent on civism and respect of others…On "being a nice kid". Where to be a nice eprson we are taught we need to do all sorts of things for others. And where it ends up too often being nicities that are done, without one being nice at all for that much:). Society as a whole also tends to make "responsibility" be mistaken for a four letter word… I then find it helpful to remind myself it is all about being able to respond to one’s own needs, i.e. to take care and be in charge of one’s self. Too often religion, politeness codes and so on make it easy for others to pry and take advantage, where we are practically raised to always think of others first. And we tend to go by kids rules in an adult world from there, forgettign to do the full switch to "responsible and no longer dependant offspring". All that leads to is ending up feeling frustrated, used, taken advantage of, feeling NEEDED when others have need and ejected wehn they are doign fine…And feeling hurt, angry, distrusting, living conflicts both inside and out, in most cases nagging (being told or telling the other the list of alllll we ever did for them or their giving us that list each chance they get where they again happen to each time NEED soemthing…:), loss of self respect leadign to loss of self esteem, and even self deprecation and self hatred. Some end up hating the whole wide world after a few decades of it… Even religion was omnipresent and asking our parents to sacrifice all the time…And so they repeated that or the ways they learned to behave, their own rules, to us. I wish those christian religion leaders would read the book they preach, about the part where Christ spoke, namely, where it is reported what he said was "compassion and NOT sacrifice. If only you could know the difference". In that little difference is the good balance for responsibility towards the self and others, the key to healthy relatings, and the key to ongoing self esteem and self love, where when that is done by two in a friendship or relationship, no oen feels a need to bash the other, none of the two feel frustrated, none build resentment, no conflict arises, no grudges are held, vindictiveness and back stabbign stops, envy disapears, etc, etc… Where harmony and inner peace and self love from there can just happen to overflow once it is filled to the rim…By love of the self and love of the self at the occasion of others that just goes on feeding its own self, not by procuration, not by stepping on anyone else’s head, NOT by others satifying one’s needs, but by our own self doing and deciding and chosing, asking ourself "do I feed good about myself doing this? Or do I do it to just not be called selfish/bastard/bitch/whatever…? To keep an image? Will I build frustration and resentment from this? Do I feel used? Taken advantage of? If so, why on earth do I do it anyway?Woudl I have an agenda hidden to my own self even, here? Is that person there when *I* am in need too, or is he/she always blackmailing me emotionally or tryign to play terror or "consequences" to get THEIR needs seen to by procuration? What do I want? I want to be happy. Does what I am doing this very minute make me feel at peace and happy or frustrated as hell and angry? Which do I chose, then?"… By "needs" we always think of the material ones, or of course the love romance ones or the sexual ones. Physical needs. Did parents take time to teach us that "when you feel someone is abusing your help and kidness, you say "no!""? If they then blackmail you emotionally or threaten to not like you or list allllll they apparently ever did for you as if a leverage, you just say no still if "no" is what you feel liek saying? Or are we not taught "Big bad selfish thing!!! Give your piece of cake to your brother. You’re older, you can understand!";-);-) Or "Go make your room NOW! Responsibility means doing your room any random time I say so!"…? Of course, as kids, we had to have rules to know right and wrong, danger and safe, and also because many kids were under two parents (often just one most of the time or even some of the time!). Mom only having two hands, if we went somwhere, one of us had for instance to blow John’s nose as mom was changing Terry’s diaper. Or if it was housecleanign time, we had to go by when it suited mom and dad to clean the house. Doing it when they said "Now is the responsible time to do it". Just the same, we ate our Corn Flakes for mom.  We even potty trained for mom that woudl make nice bye byes as we flushed the toilet. From day one, living our choices as dictated to us by a (in ideal cases) responsible parent or two. Nowaydays, more like 5.3 parents, but anyway;-). And now, people act as if they ate the Corn Flakes, oh not for mommy, they are not babies anymore, no siree, they learned allllllllll about responsibilities! They eat it for…..Mr Right! Or Mrs Right!! Da ONE!! You think they don’t…? Think again: oh, they can not go here and there cause they are not havign a mr or mrs right! They can not enjoy life cause mr and mrs right is not there for them….They just NEED to live…for someoen else! Someoen else has to give them a valid reason to eat their Corn Flakes!:) Why ever clean the house? NO ONE ver comes over!!! They even clean their own house *for others*! Heck, I woudl not be very surprised to learn that some bachelor man somewhere on this planet puts the seat down even if he lives alone since ten years!!!:). "Mommy said…"…Conditioned to live by kids rules, and going on living by and for them as adults. Conditioned to live for soemoen else, normal as dependant kids that do not understand our basic needs and do depend on soemoen else to take care of them… But no one shows us how to go from that to being a response-able adult… Oh, school teaches us a trade, a career. We then can achieve that one, in many cases. We learned to wash our clothes, if we don’t like doing it,but we do cause we don’t want to stink up OTHERS. What woudl THEY think!!!;-):):)  But for us? How many wear the same clothes at home all the time? We even dress and wash *for others* still as adults, unless we kick ourself in the rear end and realize that hey… It is OUR life. No one will come and make the groceries for us. No one was born to do our chores. And heck, even worse than that! No human being was ever created with the purpose to have another’s needs satified!! Imagien that: how woudl we like to elarn each of us woudl ahve been made just to satisfy soemoen else’s needs? And yet many seek Mr Right and Mrs Right thinking that is what life is like: someoen made them a nice little slave! Oh, not a slave, nonono, just asnwering their wishes and prayers. SAhe’he’ll come wiht a nice sexy dress or riding a white horse…I eman a red sports car, yeah…;-)L:). And he she will smile when they run to meet our demands. Oh they will not be demands, not to that special slave, cause they will feel so happy to live to fullfil our wishes…? Of course, we donlt think of it that ugly egocentred way. Nonono:). We make it all wr5apped up in nice moral reasongins to sustain our dependancy and our "right" to legitimately shout "BUT I AM ALONE! I have no lover!" or "I have one, but he does not satisfy my neeeeeds. He goes to work and leaves me alone allll daaaaaay" or "I have one, but I prefer burnettes, thinner and ya know…pleasing my fantasy needs, too, heheheh". Hehehe????  Most people want to be with soemoen out of need. Their definition of need is very odd, but a generalized odditis:) To them, need means, for instance "I need SEX!!!!". Well, it is not a life threatening need, no one ever died on a desert Island from not havign sex. Maybe from a frustrated crocodile that had no lunch since the last ship wreck, but that crocodile did not ask before "Had sex lately? Yes? You can live. No? Well, hello dinner!" LOL:) Pfft:) But listening to them, what they say is that their life depends on it! Theyc an not eat, sleep, walk, move, go out, enjoy anythign cause they don’t have sex!!! Or they donlt have Mr Right or Mrs Right, soe they can not, ya hear!;-);-)  There is need, and there is need. One’s life is NOT endangered for not having sex. Heck, nowadays there is at times life threatening danger having it, in fact L:). BUT the quality of life might be different!!! YES. Life might be more enjoyable in soem things. More responsibilites with it, but yep. Might make life more pleasant, sure. … read more »

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